The festival begins: the port-a-loo arrives

Big day today. The portables arrived safely by crane into our front yard by a nice gent with a sweet smile who said, “Don’t worry lady, this one doesn’t have spew and poo smeared on the inside. She’s nice and clean.”
Toilet & shower being delivered
And right he was. Our new loo comes with two rolls of toilet paper and it’s pretty immaculate. No graffiti and it has a seat!
After a night of using a bucket to flush the toilet, this is a real treat. We also snuck into our neighbours house during the eve and had a quick shower while they weren’t home. They said we could do this, but I still felt naughty being in someone elses house naked!
Cheef, Reg and I were pumped to get home after our day of work-related activities to check out what the boys – Gio and Todd – had done. And boy, were we impressed.
If this demolition arrived in a Christmas stocking, I would hump Santa’s leg. It was incredible. Basically, Gio and Todd had gone hammer and tong on the back of the house, whacked all the crap in a pile and swept up at the end of the day. I mean, what builder sweeps! It brought a tear to my eye. They even put a fan on in the house so it was nice and cool when I got home. Bless these men and their tidy nature.
Our former kitchen – the bath was placed here overnight
The tidy floors and piles were complementary to the masculinity of tools and scents that remained in the house. I now understand why men get a kick out of sheds with pegboards.
We spent last night lunging in our blundstones admiring the work, changing position every now and then to a hand in pocket, hand on knee stance to take in all the masculinity.
Then we invited our neighbours around, one by one, to check out the handy work and more lunges followed as well as a couple of beers (unfortunately not for me) and comments such as “Geez, she’s come up all right. She’s got solid legs, but good thing ya sorting out her stumps.” Then change of position, swig of beer. Followed by a male silence (these are so difference to female silences).
Former bathroom
So there’s day one down.
Day two has commenced and feeling very pregnant and melonesque today I asked Todd if my outfit made me look like an oompa loompa. He diverted the conversation immediately – smart. It was a mistake on my behalf, I have to come to accept that our pad is now man-town for the next three months. At least I am really good at swearing.

With love,

Former kitchen

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