My birthday gets off to a sh!t start

Today is my 31st birthday.

It’s not even 7am and I’m cranky. So I thought I would reflect on birthdays past to pump up my mood.
Last year my BFF pack rented a spectacular house in Billy Ocean Grove for my 30th and delivered a two-day tiki party. Fabulous.

In 2011 Reg and I celebrated in HoiAn, Vietnam smashing beers, swimming and eating noodles as part of our honeymoon. Amazing.

Happy honeymooners

In 2010, Reg took me to Disney Sea in Tokyo where we spent 13 hours on rides, drinking beer and avoiding tantrums near gift shops. Apparently the Minnie Mouse ears that I wanted to buy looked ‘slutty’.

Disney baby!

Today I woke up and almost peed the bed during a coughing fit. I looked down at my nightie and the crumbs were evidence that I had yet another midnight snack (possibly sleepwalking) of some kids birthday cake and milk. I had had a dream that my umbilical cord was a string of LED lights and Cobb was covered in tattoos from birth. When I went to the portaloo, I discovered that it had entered the full-to-overflowing mode and on my stroll back to the house I stood on one of those giant slugs and it squelched between my toes. Pregnancy reflux kicked in.

The honey sucker truck that left a skid mark on departure

Then the toilet guy rocked up to empty the portaloo in his truck titled ‘honey sucker’. This involved using a massive vacuum cleaner which was used right outside our bedroom window. Did I mention that this is before 7am? The smell, oh god, the smell. We won’t even discuss the sound.

I moved into our living ‘quarters’ with my nightie pulled over my nose like I was in grade 3 and someone had dropped a pop-off.

I decided a bit of TV and a cuppa might make me feel happy. No milk (I must have drank it all last night) and Beyonce has released a new single that looks fabulous. She also mentioned in her interview that she lost all her baby weight in a month and it was a “real struggle”. Get stuffed Beyonce. Go and wear some pants.

Perhaps I can have my birthday at Easter when we have a new house? Can you put a birthday on hold? I’m going to.

Reggie-baby informed me last night that he has to get his wisdom teeth pulled out in April – a week or so before the bub is due. The poor dude is in so much pain as is our budget with this new addition.

But shit happens – says the bumper sticker on the poo truck this morning – and things are never as bad as they seem. Hopefully we can have a massive laugh about this tonight over $2 tacos at the Reverence.

Moving on.

Reg and Big Pappa Webby dug a massive trench on the weekend ready for our sewer to be connected. Yes.
It’s pretty much one long hole along the side of the house, but I know it has taken almost two days to dig and clear so I doing my best to have the ultimate OH MY GOD I AM SO IMPRESSED face every time the trench is mentioned. It’s very impressive.

Trench

Cement from the trench

Reg and his dad x

Ollie checking out the trench

Our tiles are almost complete in the bathroom and they look HOT. Todd is working hard on the kitchen  and I understand that benchtops will be created later this week. Painting has begun and will continue this week with Sunday being our painting deadline before the floors are sanded.

Timber chosen for the island bench – Sydney Blue Gum and a messmate racing stripe from Urban Salvage

Dougie laying tiles

Then our Easter weekend will hopefully be filled with moving back into the house – can you believe it! My folks are coming down from the country to help with this momentous occasion. Bless their cotton socks. I’ll be 37 weeks pregnant at that stage and probably won’t fit in our hallway.

I will whack up some photos later on to show what a fine job the boys have done this week once this birthday hides its ugly head.

With love,
Ali

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